Pros and Cons: AZ XIII

PROS:
Um... Artist Alley was cool this year.
Art Auction was neat.
ESCALATORS WORKED
Bar in hotel. Rock.
Game room had a nice selection and a decent set-up.


CONS:
SOMETIMES ESCALATORS DID NOT WORK
Weeaboos.
Dealer's room still kinda blew a little.
Tourney organizers always play favorites.

Not as informative as I'd like, but I think you get the gist, Maybe I'll be back with some more later.

Pros and Cons: Animazement 13

PROS:
Game Room
Dealer's Room
Artist Alley
Insulting people on escalators
Cosplays

CONS:
Tournaments
Escalators turned off
Immature teens that act like toddlers
The Rave
Cosplays

Thoughts: Animazement 13, May 2010

So anime conventions are up there on the scale of nerdy events for the lower-social class, much like Star Wars and Star Trek conventions and, to a lesser extent, comic conventions. There's no shortage of costumes based on favorite anime and video game characters, Pocky and Ramune, and embarrassing rambunctious games and events thrown by the attendees more often than the staff. Many things were halted before they could get too out of hand, such as the Naruto-exclusive game of Red Rover, but other acts of embarrassment continued to prevail, the biggest of which being the rave. But we'll go over the days one at a time; let's start with day one, Friday.


Friday, May 28th, 2010


The crew arrives around 1pm, and everything is already in full swing. Can't find the convention center? Follow the parade of Akatsuki members, or Team Fortress 2 and Final Fantasy XIII characters. The release of some of this year's newer titles, mainly FF13 and Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver, brought about a lot of related costumes, though old favorites, such as Naruto, One Piece, Darkstalkers, and Street Fighter still prevailed in large numbers.

The Game Room was an early stop: the room was laid out nicely, with plenty of room to walk around in, and less crowding than in the past. There were two Rock Band setups, two tables for multiple fighters, and plenty of arcade cabinets and retro games. The Game Room was sure to be where most of the weekend was to be spent.

The Dealer's Room had a lot of variety as well, with lots of games, trinkets, DVDs, manga, keychains, pins, posters, figures, and more. The Dealer's Room was easily one of the best places to go, and I met up with a lot of friends I hadn't seen in years. However, I've walked around enough, it's time to get to the bank and get some money to eat, shop, and enjoy myself.


"Whaddya buyin'?"

Until I get a text while at the bank. The Super Smash Bros Brawl tournament, one of the main and only reasons I go to Raleigh for this convention in the first place, is fully booked. When confused as to how this 128 (or 256...? Don't really remember right off) man tournament got filled so quickly, I was informed that, without notice, it had become a 32 man tournament. Well, fuck, there's goes nearly the whole weekend. Pissed off, I return to the convention center to find that, in fact, only one Wii console was brought, and 128 people wouldn't be able to have a tournament on one console in only three days. Well, there would always be Rock Band, which last notice had been changed to Friday night instead of Saturday.

So most of the time was spent hanging with friends, checking out cosplays (many of which were good), and spending time in the Dealer's Room or the hotel room. Later, news would reach my ears that the Rock Band tournament, once again at last minute, would be moved to Saturday again. It was official - there was literally little reason to go to the Game Room. A little alcohol would send me into the JRock Dance, however, where the girls would dance with each other or their boyfriends, and the boys would stand around outside the dance floor looking nervous being around girls. The music wasn't too bad, if you don't mind not hearing English. Meeting up with friends again, we pretty much rounded out the day and retired, hoping Saturday would be a bit more eventful than Friday.


Saturday, May 29th, 2010


Day two brought around more crowd watching. Taking a step into the Game Room long enough to see Rock Band was replaced with Guitar Hero III (that's right - not Guitar Hero 5, World Tour, or Smash Hits, but mother fucking THREE), I immediately left, as the large crowd around the only Rock Band setup meant finding time to practice would take thirty to sixty minutes per play. No reason to be in the Game Room for now.

So, dressed as a Team Rocket grunt, I did the only thing I could think of to kill time - I got "in character," and walked around to harass anyone I could find. Telling Akatsuki members that you like their costumes because you love Bleach pisses them off. So does confusing Luffy for a Farmville character. Terry Bogard will look at you confused if you call him Mario. It became apparent - the most fun I had thus far was talking shit to everyone for shits and giggles.


Oh, god, look out!!

I ditched the Tatsunoko vs. Capcom tournament I was excited for to help my friends find food, which they didn't find, and rushed back to make a decision between the Rock Band tournament or the Super Street Fighter IV tournament. I chose the former, as I'm better at music games than fighting games, and had a band that was stoked to play. We got to play with shitty Rock Band 1 drums and a Guitar Hero controller without a strap, and had to play the winning band first (though, according to our drummer, if the tournament had been seeded we would've met our first opponents in the finals).

The tournament was run like this: each band picks a song, both bands play those songs, and the total score would decide the winner. While I believe this is one of the worst decisions ever, we abided by these rules. They picked Laid to Rest, by Lamb of God. The song is the simplest song EVER on vocals, with only speaking parts, but each instrument is incredibly difficult. Upon starting the tournament match, the guitarist missed several notes, and the band restarted the song. While in EVERY GAME THERE'S EVER BEEN A TOURNAMENT FOR EVER considers pausing, much less restarting, a forfeit, the organizer argued that "It's no big deal, there's no way that's unfair." Someone inform tournament organizers everywhere that restarting is totally fair, whether you fuck up a song, die at 10% in Smash, or lose most of your life without landing a hit on your opponent in Street Fighter.

They did a bit worse on our song, The Running Free by Coheed and Cambria. So worse, in fact, that we ended up beating them by 300,000 points. This was no easy feat, however - considering the Street Fighter tournament organizer not only turned down the Rock Band tournament's speakers, but also using the speakers NEXT to it to announce tournament matchups on the other side of the room, and then proceed to babble nonsensically. He talked a little through our rivals' second song, but talked nearly nonstop through ours, so much so that the vocalist's mic picked him up over her, causing her to miss several spoken parts in one of our songs. On top of this, I cannot play without a guitar strap, while the guitarist before us always does, but "we're using the same equipment, so that's fair." No, you playing without a guitar strap all the time is an advantage for you while I struggle to hold it up in my lap is a disadvantage for me. This is NOT fair. Needless to say, while it's hard to say if we would've beaten them or not in an environment MEANT for a Rock Band tournament without outside interference to both of our bands, it would've been a lot closer than it was. Every tournament was run poorly, which is a shame considering how well the Game Room was setup to begin with.

Irritated, we left to get a few drinks and hit up the rave, or as I like to call it, "nerdy shitheads that think they're cool by swinging around glow sticks on strings to awful electronica." My group ran off without me, causing me to run in alone to find them, and would result in a glow stick to the head and two forearms to the face. Furthering my opinion that all anime convention raves are gay and a total waste of time, I left my friends to enjoy the circle jerk while I left for Chinese food and, ironically enough, anime on basic cable.


Sunday, May 30th, 2010


It was the last day, and after waiting 45 minutes for a shower only to find we didn't have enough time for one before check out (fucking gross, should've gotten one the night before), I put on some clothes that weren't so sweaty and got back into Team Rocket garb, awaiting Sunday. Normally, Sunday is known as the least exciting (read: WORST) day of the convention. The con closes early, there's less to do, and everyone's so tired that they'd rather go home early and waste the fee they spent to come on Sunday than stay. We stayed a bit, however, and hit up the Artist Alley for the last time, meeting a few artists that Katie knew. With the two of us in costume, we decided we should be a part of the Pokemon photo shoot.


This HG/SS Rival was too adorable, and a lot of fun to be around!

Dreading the event (and being around a bunch of embarrassing losers for a prolonged period of time), we went and discovered it was actually more fun than we thought it would be. The last day was actually one of the more fun days, even though we ended up leaving early.


Summary/Hints and Tips:

Saying you "lost the game" wasn't funny three years ago. Nothing has changed.
If you have a glow stick on a string, let me tell you now: you are NOT cool. That's why you're alone when you swing them around.
Try avoiding mainstream characters. I love Lucas from Mother 3, but I would NOT look good as Lucas. Try going for someone you look like, or someone we won't see so damn many of.
"Marco Polo" does not work with your eyes open. Or outside of a pool.
Screaming across the convention center to someone three stories down and across a large area of people is something a 7-year-old would do. Not a 17-year-old.
Most of you give /b/tards a bad name. C'mon, you KNOW the first rule...



Best Cosplays:
Four Tetris blocks
Stormtroopers (with mics to project their voices)
Many of the Final Fantasy XIII characters
Morrigan
Ryuugi Rena
There are really too many to say, but these are off the top of my head, and they were pretty amazing.


Many of these pictures are not taken by me, and many thanks goes to those that took them.

New sections!

So Gaming Everything invaded Animazement with force, and are full of ideas and opinions! But first, let me introduce two new topics coming to the site:

Pros and Cons
Whenever we attend large venues, such as conventions, gaming fests, and larger tournaments, we see positives and negatives, and have a lot to say about each. So, in honor of our trips to these Cons, we decided to post a short list of the good and the bad, not only using a play on words but also giving anyone not able to go an idea of how we thought they went.

Girl on Girl Gaming
Katie will be put to the test, forcing herself to play games intended for girls. As if that weren't enough, she's forced to review these games afterward. She may be female, but don't expect her to be gentle or delicate with the sissier side of gaming - whether the game is good or bad, prepare yourself for a vulgar, VULGAR review.


Stay tuned to see these sections soon!

Look Ahead: New FE Announced!

Hello all, Katie here with some very recent news on the SRPG front!

Yesterday, in Japan, Nintendo updated the official Fire Emblem site with news of a new game. It appears to be a remake of Monshou no Nazo (Mystery of the Emblem), the third Fire Emblem game in the series, which features Marth (who initially garnered fame in America for kicking ass in Super Smash Brothers Melee).


Title screen for Monshou no Nazo, the third Fire Emblem game.

Alright, so let me educate you guys on Monshou no Nazo. Released in 1994 as the first 24 megabit game for the Super Famicom, Monshou no Nazo continues the story of Marth, a young prince exiled from his kingdom in Altea. Using a variety of units that each perform in a unique way, you battle your way through bands of thugs, pirates, and opposing countries under the influence of your opposition, picking up help along the way.

The interesting thing about Monshou no Nazo is that it contains two separate storylines in the form of "Books". Book One is a remake of the first FE ever, Ankoku Ryu to Hikari no Ken (The Shadow Dragon and the Sword of Light). Book Two is Mystery of the Emblem, a continuation of the story and characters of the first game.

In the first quarter of 2009, North America got "Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon", a remake of Ankoku.


Title Screen for Shadow Dragon, the US's translated remake of Ankoku.

So this proposes a question! Will this new remake of Monshou include the remake of Shadow Dragon as well, or, will it not, making it the first stand-alone incarnation of Book Two?

Nintendo has done a fairly good job of handling the series in America since its release of the seventh game as the English-speaking world's first taste. Hopefully, these translations and faithful remakes of the beloved Fire Emblem games paves the way for the remainder of the series to be subsequently translated and released officially on the shores of other countries.


There is no confirmed release date for Monshou no Nazo's remake in either Japan or America, though it does seem to be slated for 2010 in Japan, making it at least two years since the last Fire Emblem game.

I'll be keeping my eyes open for any news about the state of this game, so you can be checking for future updates on it!

You can check out the small teaser trailer released by Nintendo of Japan at Fire Emblem World here: http://www.nintendo.co.jp/fe/

Rant: The Red Ring of Death

There's not too much I can say on this topic: everyone that's truly into gaming know about this issue, especially XBox 360 owners. Three blinking red lights, known as the Red Ring of Death, signifies the end of Microsoft's second console's lifespan. This sight is like seeing a hospitalized love one flatline right before your eyes.

I got my XBox 360 before they were released - that's right, that Mountain Dew contest in 2005? I won a 360 and received it about four days before the general public. Playing Kameo and Need for Speed: Most Wanted was a blast, and due to my time with the console, I've really grown attached to it. Which is why I was confused when I first saw the video game equivalent of a tombstone one day.


A description of the error lights

It happened four months or so after getting the console, meaning the console was no longer under the company's original 90-day warranty. However this must have been a recurring problem even before the media went wild with it, because the customer service representative I spoke with lied during the registration of my console to allow me to still receive the warranty. I have had no issues with customer service since.

About a week passes and I get my second XBox. I'm playing it and just over a a year and a half passes when Peter Moore announced a three-year warranty and promptly leaves Microsoft. Douche move, sure, but it really helps out this Red Ring of Death issue. By this time, no one has still really figured out the cause, but stories ran rampant - overheating, cores breaking down, insides melting - and the stories to manually repair them were just as absurd, such as taking off the cover and leaving the circuitry in the freezer overnight.

Nearly three years in and I get my second Red Ring. This time, there's so many call-ins that I'm told it may be two months before I get my console back, but they're still very friendly to me about the issue. Thankfully it was only three or four weeks without my console, which once again is earlier than the expected arrival time. I've been on XBox number three now since. Until the day before Alan Wake's release. I'VE GOT ANOTHER MOTHER FUCKING RED RING OF DEATH BRICK OF A CONSOLE.


Achievement unlocked. ...THREE TIMES.

When it happened, I thought to myself that it wouldn't be a big deal. I had gone through this process twice. So upon calling Microsoft's tech support and customer service hotline, I'm greeted with a message stating if you have the Red Ring, not to bother calling. Instead, I need to consult the website. Fantastic; I understand the online way is easier and they only have so many agents to take care of issues, and that this cuts down on holding periods, but it doesn't make it any less of a pain to the customer to have to navigate the website.

So I move onward to the website, where I find the tech support instructions for the Red Ring. I'm walked through several steps that I've not only tried in the past with actual people on the phone, but have remembered and done myself before going through the site's instructions. Normally, these steps don't work anyways. Finally, after it's all said and done, I'm told I need to login with my Windows Live ID. This hotmail or msn email address I got JUST to get an XBox Live account is long gone, and I have no idea how to login in order to request a repair kit. So, in the end, I'm left to call XBox's support crew anyway.

I call them and they offer to perform the repair request. Thankful of the ever polite XBox crew, sour news suddenly struck my ears as I'm told that my three-year warranty is no longer valid, as it expired last year. My warranty apparently didn't roll over through the other consoles. What a pile of shit! I remained polite, however, as I understand this man is just doing his job.

So I feel as though I'm at a dilemma. Do I stick it out and shell out some money to repair or replace my XBox 360? I AM really stoked about Natal, which seems much cooler than the Playstation Move, but I risk getting another Red Ring, which is the most frustrating console issue I've personally experienced.


The other option

The other option is to scrap the idea of another 360 and shell out the money for a Playstation 3. While expensive and with not nearly as many titles that I'm interested as the 360, it does have some exclusives that I've REALLY wanted to try, mainly ModNation Racers, but also including LittleBigPlanet, Uncharted, Disgaea 3, and more. The free online is also an added bonus, which is better than having to pay for an internet service that I can not use until I get a new console. Very. Upset.

So what do you think? Do I stick with the XBox 360 and Natal? Or do I finally convince myself to get the Playstation 3 and it's Blu-Ray drive? Give opinions without the console wars, and let me know what you think!

Updates

I know it looks like the site updates only sporadically, but it's been tough lately, especially getting around the job issue. This should hopefully change after this week.

I should be getting Paul to post something this week, and hopefully Katie as well, and once again hopefully a wishlist made by the three of us. This weekend we'll be attending Animazement 13, and will give our thoughts and impressions of the game room and tournaments. Hopefully it'll be a fun weekend for Gaming Everything.

Hopefully we'll be able to get several updates and posts for you guys to enjoy in the coming weeks, but I'll also try to make sure it's more frequent as well. Thanks for your patience!

Top Ten: Favorite Internet Gaming Jokes

The internet is a place for information. A place for social connection. A place for work. But most importantly it's a place to belittle others and laugh at funny pictures and phrases. And since most nerds online that know how to venture outside of Facebook and Twitter know what video games are, video game jokes, memes, pictures, and phrases tend to be the best. Here are a few of my favorites:



10. Slowpoke (Pokemon)

There's plenty of Pokemon memes out there, one of my favorites being Milftails. But Slowpoke's breaking news announcements of events long passed makes me laugh so hard. Did you know the drummer for Def Leppard was in a horrible accident and only has one arm? Thanks for the update, Slowpoke.


9. Do a Barrel Roll (Star Fox 64)

One of the most popular, it's dropped down on my list due to overuse. It's not used well anymore, and is instead shouted at anything that looks like it might be tipped sideways. Peppy's most overused saying continues to stay that way over ten years later...


8. All Your Base Are Belong To Us (Zero Wing)

While not really mentioned anymore, this is one of the most classic cult internet gaming phenomenons ever - so much so that it made news, had a huge line of spoofs, and even made it's way into other media, the one totally standing out in my mind right now being Foxtrot. It ruled the internet at one point, but sadly has faded into practically nothing...


7. The Cake is a Lie (Portal)

This one went wild when first discovered in game. This line helped further push Portal for people that were curious why cake could be a lie. Not only was this fairly cryptic, but when people weren't spouting it at random for no reason, they were trying to defy the statement, including making real life versions of the lie of a cake seen at the end of the game.


6. Riiiidge Racer! (Sony 2006 E3 Press Conference)

Could you imagine being at E3 2006 and seeing the fail that the Sony Press Conference was? Love them or hate them, you have to admit it was awkward to hear them try to appeal to gamers with the personality of a rock, and justify a "$599 US dollars" price tag. While the giant crab's "attack its weak spot for massive damage" is a real winner, nothing is more laughable than the outcry of "It's Ridge Racer! Riiiiiidge Racer!" to a nearly silent crowd.


5. Gentlemen (Team Fortress 2)

TF2's spy may be cowardly enough to hide and stab you in the back, but he's a classy guy. He wears a suit on the battlefield, smokes fancy cigarettes, has a ballin' accent, and refers to both colleagues and rivals as "gentlemen." While we've seen pictures of four packs of cigs in his mouth with this catch phrase, or reworded to "mentlegen" with a disfigured face, it's a catchy little statement.



4. Nintendo 64 Kid (Christmas morning)

We all had those gifts on Christmas that made us shit our pants in happiness, but no one shit harder than this boy when he got his Nintendo 64. This kid screams at the top of his lungs about his new gaming system, and apparently is so happy that his confused little sister cheers along with him. Nothing says thank you on Christmas day like screaming, crying, and beating the shit outta the box your gift is in, all while in your snazzy pajamas.


3. Falcon Punch! (Super Smash Bros.)

Captain Douglas J. Falcon is one badass dickhead, and there's nothing you can do about it. When he's not winning races in the F-Zero circuit, he's punching the shit out of people. Normally Cap's helmet being photoshopped in pictures is funny enough, but seeing a .gif file of someone punching the fuck out of someone else with the famous tagline and a helmet shopped in anyway? Never gets old.


2. Hey! Listen! (The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time)

Yeah, we all hated Navi while playing through OoT. Navi flew around and shouted at you to tell you normally obvious information, and was normally accompanied with her cries of "Hey! Listen!" The internet has picked up on the humor a bit, but nothing brings back good ol' nostalgic Zelda memories like being around a group of people trying to imitate her.


1. WRRRRYYYYYYY!!! (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure)

Nothing puts a bigger smile on my face than the "wry" scream. Pronounced "Ree," and not "Rye," it's part of one of the most badass super combos in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, an underrated 2D fighter made by Capcom shortly after the Street Fighter III series. Dio Brando, the game's main villain, not only freezes time, but throws a shitload of knives at you and throws a steamroller on people. What a champ! Letting out his trademark squeal before attacking steamroller and foe, it's been the target of anything, well, that can have a steamroller thrown at. While the game's combo itself is incredibly badass, the scream alone is enough to gain my number 1 spot.

Epic Fail: Cheetahmen II

It's been a while since an update, and there's a few reasons for it. One could be that I have a job since this site doesn't make me any money - you can change this by following along, joining our twitter and facebook sites, and checking out our sponsors. Another reason could be that I've enjoyed a bit too much of the Starcraft II beta. The third reason may be that I've been meeting up with my other two editors and none of us can figure out what exactly they'll be doing as their next article or if they'd be doing a group article. Regardless, I've put forth a lot of time torturing myself over this article for your enjoyment.


Active Enterprises was pretty well known for "a game" they put out in 1991 known as "Action 52." At $199, it was a steal - 52 games on one cartridge? That's almost $4 a game.

However, for anyone stupid enough to shell out the money, they'd realize the games were horrible, miserable turds and that $4 a piece was far too much money. The company banked on one title to really help their success - Cheetahmen, game number 52 on their epic failure. The game was released with a comic, and had intended for sequels, lunch boxes, even its own tv show spin off. The project, obviously, was a flop, but in 1996, a sequel was discovered in a warehouse, with 1,500 copies sitting aside waiting to be discovered...


So, is it "Cheetahmen II" or "Cheetah Men II"?

Cheetahmen II was then sold in 1997 off the market, and the game was discovered to be one of the worst games ever made. The games difficulty and glitches are practically legendary due to horrible programming, making the game seem as though it was never completed. Check below for the plot, and then I'll go through my personal experiences on this game.


Yep. That's the story.

So, the first thing I notice is that not only were the horrible controls transferred over from Action 52, but the music is as well. Your Cheetahman also does not make any sound upon jumping, and has a crossbow to defend himself. Walking up to my first enemy is either an invisible man or an unfinished enemy. Killing him brings me to my next enemy, a bird flying too high to shoot without jumping, meaning you need to nail a jump and shot off in order to kill him. Getting hit takes away one of the player's six hits, with no recovery items to be found.

Next, we come across a dog. Crouch to shoot him, and... wait, there's no crouch? How do I kill the dog?! You don't. You jump over him. And then jump over the worms. And jump over the bug-looking aardvark things. Meaning, if a bird's not flying too low, the only enemies in this level you can kill are birds and the invisible men. Fan-fucking-tastic. Sometimes, enemies are put in places where you have no choice but to run into them it seems, and other times two may come at you where if you avoid one, you'll hit the other. And there's no invincibility frames after a hit, like in Mario or Sonic. If you get hit back to back within a second by two enemies, you lose two hits.


"Invisible?" Really?

At one point in the level, I found some blocks to help me jump over and avoid the ground level enemies, which is convenient. I move across them to higher blocks, and upon jumping off the last one, I die in mid air. I DIED IN MID AIR, FOR NO REASON. JUMPING TOO FAR WILL CAUSE A CHEETAHMAN TO EXPLODE IN MID AIR. GODDAMMIT!! Believe it or not, this is JUST the first level. If you somehow manage to survive all of this, you come to level two.

The second level changes a bit. The invisible dude is replaced by tornadoes and the scariest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. There is no other way to describe it. Suddenly, jumping makes a noise, but didn't in level one. Furthermore, many of the ground enemies return, and now pace back and forth to further haunt you. What a bunch of dicks.


THIS fucking this is scary.

Getting to the end of the level brings you to Dr. Morbis, who should've been the final boss. He's an impressive boss, though - he runs from left to right. That's it. He just runs. He can kill you by touching you, sure, but jumping over him and shooting him is too easy to lose to this boss. Pathetic.


The evil Dr. Morbis is your first boss...?

Level three sticks you with a big piece of shit of a Cheetahman. He's huge, yet has incredibly short range with his punch-and-kick-at-the-same-time combo. What makes him not a worthless fuck is that he can attack ground enemies, including some weird shrew thing that attacks now, as well as air enemies, like this weird ass UFO thing that attacks. The best part of Hercules the fat fuck Cheetahman is that he freezes in mid air when he attacks. While he's frozen, the game recgonizes him as being on the ground again, and allows him to jump, meaning you can jump-attack through the air across the levels and see little to no action. Jumping too high will cause him to go through the top of the screen to the bottom, in some instances trapping you and causing you to die. If there's a floor blocking the bottom of the screen, you die when you hit the top of the screen. What the fuck? Also, the death noise in levels two and beyond are different in tone from the first level. Goddammit.


Breaking news: Man-cheetah hybrids can fly! More at eleven.

So I'm jump-punch-kicking my way through the levels, which I forgot to mention end at points that look like the middle of levels - you may see blocks or enemies past the end of level area, making it confusing to know when you're almost done. I get to the end of level four and reach the Ape Man, "the strongest sub-human yet." He wiggles in a seizure-like manner, and if he touches you it's instant death. Due to Hercules' T-Rex punches, I cannot kill Ape Man. However, I've seen footage after you kill him - that's it. It's the end. Hercules is stuck by himself to wander the boss area for eternity. Fuck the last Cheetahman, he's apparently too big of a piece of shit to warrant him a level. That's it, four levels. What a pile of cunts!

So, I've heard that sometimes, the game will glitch upon starting it up and start you at level five to play as the last Cheetahman. But I've never seen it. I haven't gotten it to happen. So until I see it, I'm going to believe it's a mystery and a myth, that this unfinished pile of shit ends at level four. There's only two good parts about this game... The music, and the fan base.


The "last" boss - Ape Man

The fan base for this game is almost too intense. Some like it "for the lulz," while others legit like this game. Some people have talked themselves into liking the game to find it playable. I have no disrespect for these people - I talked myself into liking it as well until I played it, and pretty much for only one reason: the music.

While there's one song as a title theme, and another song as the game theme, the songs are actually very good. It sucks to hear them in game, because firing the bow or killing an enemy literally stops the music. But they are entertaining tunes, and they've gained a cult following. Even OC Remix has a few mixes up, and The Adventures of Duane and BrandO released an amazing rap over the song (though the monotone reading of the story beforehand is also entertaining). I've posted a few below for you to enjoy:


The original song


やたらかっこいいチーターマン２ BGM Very cool Cheetahmen music


Phoenix Wright = Cheetahmen II


チーターマンテクノ(90's Techno Remix)


CHEETAHMEN II by The Adventures Of Duane & BrandO
Check out the official Duane and BrandO YouTube page at http://www.youtube.com/user/TheAdventuresOfDnB,
and their official site at http://www.duane-and-brando.com/

Sure, the music is great, but everything else about this game, and Active Enterprises, is epic fail.

The Pause Screen: Katie Tiedrich

Katie Tiedrich, formerly known by online persona Hail-Nekoyasha, has been drawing up entertaining video game themed comics for years now. After a good start on deviantArt, she moved onto her own website, Awkward Zombie, where she continued to post comics based on video games, normally the ones she'd been playing at the time, or about things going on in her life, normally school related.

The artist does a lot of art around the Smash Bros. series, especially concerning Marth, Roy, and Link. Since Roy's departure in Brawl, she's done a little more work with the rest of the cast. In particular, it seems Pit at times replaces Roy, not only in looks, but as an ongoing gag.



Other than Smash Bros, she's done a bit of work with World of Warcraft, using in-game humor as an art form. Other comics may revolve around failed raids, and guild chat. Some of these may not always seem funny to those that aren't familiar with the MMORPG, but anyone who has played the online phenomenon will certainly appreciate the humor.



She's done a bit of other game works as well, such as Fire Emblem, Phoenix Wright, Pokemon, the Zelda series, Pikmin, Pokemon, Trauma Center, and more. I've posted several of my favorite comics below. Click the images to make them larger.



















Anyone that enjoys gaming (especially Nintendo titles) humor should DEFINITELY check out her site. There are a LOT of wonderful comics and stories I haven't even gotten to, and I can't put into words the nostalgia factor I get from reading some, or the "THAT'S WHAT I'VE WONDERED" moments that I've thought from reading others. She has a strong following of fans, as well, and you can join them on her forum, or read along each week at her site. Find her at: http://www.awkwardzombie.com

Flashback: Zombies Ate My Neighbors

Due to the lack of SEVERAL days worth of updates, I'm gonna try to shove them all into one day, because I'm an idiot. Let's start with a Flashback, back to 1993.


Zombies Ate My Neighbors

Publisher: Konami

Developer: LucasArts

Consoles: Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis


I was never a fan of zombies growing up. I never really liked ANYTHING horror themed, actually. Though when I was duped by friends into seeing how truly "scary" Thirteen Ghosts was when it hit theaters, though, I realized that the hype of being terrified was scarier than actually seeing horror movies and playing horror games. I never really got in Resident Evil and Silent Hill, and Dead Rising is probably the first game I've played involving zombies... Well, since this game.

Zombies Ate My Neighbors was the exception to my past fear of being afraid. I was horrified of seeing I Know What You Did Last Summer, but Zombies Ate My Neighbors was some fun shit. You choose between two kids, Zeke and Julie, who are on the quest to save their neighbors from the monster apocalypse that has sprung up around them.


Zeke and Julie, or "Douche with 3D glasses" and "Bitch with a hat."

The game has 55 levels of monster-killing action, and at times can be a bit difficult. The victims in need of saving are cheerleaders, babies, dog, tourists, soldiers, explorers, teachers, guys in pools, guys grilling, and girls on trampolines. Meanwhile, you'll be fighting vampires, blobs, mummies, evil dolls, werewolves, pod plants, fish monsters, mushroom men, giant ants, giant babies, chainsaw maniacs, and, of course, zombies.


Yeah, get that zombie!

Even more outlandish is the weapons. Your primary weapon is a water gun, but you'll be able to pick up rocket launchers, silverware, six-packs of soda, blow-up clown dolls, crosses, and more. What's neat about these is they try to stay true to the monster's history - silverware kills werewolves much faster, while crosses kill vampires easily, and so on. It's pretty creative and clever.


That's a big ass baby...

The game was even better with the cooperative efforts of a friend. While racing for neighbors and points made the multiplayer a bit competitive, the level cannot be completed if all the neighbors are killed, so the two had to work together, collect and use keys to open buildings and doors, and protect each other to make it easier as a team to accomplish the goal of saving your neighbors.


OH MY GOD, THEY'RE ALL OUT OF JONAS BROTHERS POSTERS!!!

As for levels, they ranged from neighborhood areas to malls, from pyramids to castles. Zombies Ate My Neighbors had a good bit of variety, in victims, enemies, weapons, and locations, which is nice for a game back in the 16-bit era. The game was a huge success, enough to warrant a sequel from LucasArts, known as Ghoul Patrol. While the sequel was a total flop, Zombies' success was so high that it was a one of the most requested content for the Wii's Virtual Console even before the console's release, and was finally released a few days before Halloween 2009. So even if you were unable to enjoy this back in the Super Nintendo era, you can download it for your Wii for only 800 Wii Points ($8.00 US). I definitely recommend this title to anyone that enjoys zombie/monster movies, or fun top-down action games.