Bomberman '93

Bomberman '93

Publisher: Interchannel

Developer: Hudson Soft

Consoles: TurboGrafx-16

The black Bomberman has attacked the city, stolen the electricity circuitry chips, and fled. It's up to the white Bomberman to chase him down and bring him to justice! ...Yeah. That's the plot for Bomberman '93.

I'm not saying plot shouldn't be allowed in a Bomberman game; hell, I really loved the plot and characters of Bomberman 64. It's just... why don't they make new chips? Or find another power source? Why does one lone Bomberman have to travel to seven different planets to help out one city? Good thing the plot isn't very important in this game.

What a dick.
This game plays like nearly any Bomberman game before 64. Small hallways in a grid shape with bombs that blow up in a cross shape, destructable blocks that hide powerups and the exit, enemies that must be destroyed before you can pass... It's all standard Bomberman gameplay. Plays like the very original NES classic, with a bright, colorful, almost anime-style graphical upgrade. The game looks great, and plays well. The levels, meanwhile, follow the basic "each world is a different element" example that was often seen in classic games - water, fire, ice, etc.

However, the game can at times be frustratingly difficult. With enemies that can can walk through blocks, may take multiple hits to kill, or speed up when you're in their line of sight, it can become controller-throwing infuriating. I know, because I have done this. You can grab power-ups that give you more bombs, increase the firepower of those bombs, turn your bombs into remote bombs to detonate when you want, allow you to kick your bombs once placed, give you an extra hit point, give you an extra life, make your Bomberman faster, and give you the ability to walk through walls or bombs... But once you die, you don't get two hits of health on the next life, you don't get back the ability to use remote bombs, to kick bombs, or to walk through walls or bombs. And it's EASY to die, either by a runaway enemy or by simply standing too close to one of your explosions.

Come on, you lazy Bombermen, help me out!
The music is hit or miss, more or less. There's some songs that are awesome, simply amazing. There's others that make you wanna rip your own ears off. Sound effects are few and far between - pretty much just explosions, and maybe when you pick up a power-up or kill the last enemy. Just be prepared for mainly music.

The bosses? They have NOTHING to do with the story. Find its weakness, kill it, and get a power chip. And some of these bosses? They're REALLY stupid...

Yep. This boss is an idiot.
Meanwhile, five man multiplayer is pretty badass. Playing against one friend is alright, it becomes very strategic and thought out. Playing against FOUR friends becomes mayhem, and there's bombs everywhere. It doesn't quite live up to the ten man multiplayer of the Sega Saturn Bomberman, but it's still highly enjoyable, especially back when it was made in 1993.

Yeah, mad multiplayer action!
The game is simply straight up Bomberman. If you have friends to play multiplayer with, it's a blast. If you play it solo, you'll probably only play it until you beat it and then never want to touch it again, instead revelling in the satisfaction of conquering it.

Klax

Klax

Publisher: Atari Games/Tengen

Developer: Atari Games/Tengen

Consoles: Arcade, Atari 2600, Nintendo Entertainment System, Sega Master System, TurboGrafx-16, Sega Genesis, and various others

"It is the nineties, and there is time for Klax."

It's odd that not many people know of Klax. It won the Best Mind Game award at the 1991 European Computer Leisure Awards, gained the seal of approval of the Parents' Choice Foundation in 1990, and was named the Best Cartridge Game of 1990. It was considered a major arcade hit, had ports not only to the systems above but also to Playstation, Playstation 2, PSP, XBox, Gamecube, Amstrad GX4000, ZX Spectrum, MSX, Commodore 64 and Amiga, DOS, Windows, Game Boy, Game Boy Color, Game Boy Advance, Game Gear, Atari Lynx, and more. It seemed like this game was everywhere. Yet, I can't find hardly a single person that's played this game before.

Klax was an arcade follow-up to Tetris, because Atari was in legal troubles over the latter at that time. It's hard to truly explain Klax, so let me try my best to explain the gameplay:

The game is made up of a conveyer belt, or a staircase, or something along those lines, and has tiles tumbling down towards the playing field. You control a little white machine or ship just above the playing field, where you catch the tiles. You drop them down into the playing field, a 5x5 area, and attempt to match up three or more like-colored tiles, either vertically, horizontally, or diagonally. This is called a "Klax," and getting four or more (either in a row or as two connecting Klaxs) counts as more than one Klax.

What most of the game will look like. Only exciting.
So the idea is to make as many of these, right? Well, not necessarily. See, what made Klax interesting was that each level had a specific goal. One level may have you performing a specific number of Klaxs. Another may have you do the same thing, but only vertically, horizontally, or diagonally completed Klaxs count. Other modes include simply catching a certain number of tiles, hitting a certain score, and so on.

Your ship (or device or whatever the hell it is) can only hold five tiles at a time. You dump out the top most, or recently caught, tile onto the field, allowing you to hold onto tiles for a later time. There is no way of shifting through these tiles, however, so if the tile you need is at the bottom, you need to dump out the four tiles on top first to get to it.

So let's say you try to catch a tile with five tiles already piled up. The tile falls off the stairway to hell and takes one hit off of your Drop Meter. You have three, four, or five chances in your drop meter (depending on if you warp; more on that later), and any tile that plummets off the end of the highway counts against you. Deplete the meter, and it's game over.

Warp screen example, at the start of the game.
At the start of the game, and every five levels afterward, you're given the option to skip five or ten levels ahead. These warps give you either four or five drops, depending on how far you warped, as well as bonus points. The catch is, obviously, the game is harder the further you go. The game has 100 levels, the last of which is to get a large high score of 250,000 points before you're able to win.

Some levels may have special criteria, as well; for example, one level may ask you to complete an X-shaped Klax that spans the entire field of play. The reward? A warp that takes you 45 levels ahead. And it's not easy, neither - I tried for nearly two hours recently before giving up, frustrated.

Pausing the game gives the player the option to change the current song being played, as well. This is nice, because there's a lot of different styles to the songs, from a dirty grungy metal sound to a more pop, maybe even new wave sound. It's nice to have an option, too, with a soundtrack of five songs that can be changed during play is nicer than going 15 levels of hearing the same song. I even like the titles of the songs - "Led Fut," "Giganticus Breathalizer," "Dance of the Fairies," "Rottweiler," and my personal favorite, "Caverns of Cthulu." It's really catchy, and I suggest anyone to YouTube them.


Most of the screens all look the same, so here's a bonus song for you guys.

The game's been released recently with the Midway Arcade Treasures for PS2, Gamecube, and Xbox. I suggest anyone that likes puzzle games to at least rent this compilation to try this game out. It may not be the nineties anymore, but there is always time for Klax.

Illusion of Gaia

Illusion of Gaia

Publisher: Enix/Nintendo

Developer: Quintet

Consoles: Super Nintendo

Illusion of Gaia is one of my all-time favorite games in a genre owned by The Legend of Zelda series. The second game in a loose trilogy with Soul Blazer and Terranigma (the latter only released in English in Europe) it stands on its own as an Action/RPG with a few unique ideas and systems that havn't been copied since and a entertaining story - although a little poorly translated as time, as SNEs-era JRPGs were won't to do.


The gang's all here!
The story starts out with our protaganist, Will, getting out of class. You find through Will's narration that a few years ago he went out with his father on a journey to the Tower of Babel. He made it back, somehow, but his father didn't. Then you meet his classmates who will be some of your companions in this game and subsequently return home. Here you meet a girl named Kara who you subsequently find out is a Princess and the King has demanded a ring from your father's things. However, your father never left any 'things' behind. You head out to King Edward's Castle with this information, and thus begins your journey.


My favorite dungeon, the Floating Garden
As I said, Illusion of Gaia is an Action/RPG. You start out controlling Will, who fights with (and plays, as melodies have a part in this game) a flute. Simple strikes, lunge attacks, and a twirling block that also pulls items and certain objects towards you are your arsenal from the beginning. Will is not Link and does not obtain any additional items for use in battle (other than herbs, which are limited). The gameplay in Illusion of Gaia is made more complex by the acquisition of powers and a second and third "form" (with their own distinct abilites).


Will as his second form, the Dark Knight Freedan
Another very unique element exclusive to Illusion of Gaia that I don't believe has been replicated since (at least not in the genre) is RPG style stats (HP, strength, and defense) and how they're optained. Instead of how Action/RPGs like Zelda have you killing the randomly regenerating enemies mainly for health and item drops, clearing an entire room of enemies in Illusion of Gaia will net you an upgrade in either HP, strength, or defense. The enemies also do not regenerate. This encourages you to fight every enemy along the way as there is a reward for doing so (making Illusion of Gaia a lot more like an RPG than games like Zelda).


One of Will's later powers, the Spin Dash
Illusion of Gaia has a lengthy but not overly long and mostly linear story that will probably take you 20-25 hours to finish in its entirety. There are a fair amount of towns free of enemies to explore which breaks up the gameplay so that you're not constantly fighting. The dungeons have a fair difficulty curve that goes up as you progress further in the game that will challenge you (but as long as you're clearing every room to receive stat upgrades, you'll be fine) without frustrating you. The story is interesting and despite a few translation WTFs should keep your attention throughout the game. Will's story takes place over many months and there are times when you meet and leave companions along the way. It all culminates at the proper point and the twist at the ending is unexpected but leaves you interest piqued.


Will's journey takes him and his friends across their world
I always feel like Action/RPGs are easy to pick up and play so for anyone looking for a game to grab and go I recommend you give Illusion of Gaia a try. There's no denying it's old and a little outdated, and as I've said the translation isn't perfect, but it's fun and the simple but engaging upgrade system leaves you wanting to clear room after room until, before you know it, you're absorbed into the game.

City Connection

City Connection

Publisher: Jaleco

Developer: Jaleco

Consoles: Nintendo Entertainment System, Arcade

Sometimes a game comes along that's a little too weird to explain in terms of plot, gameplay, or why it's fun. I'd say City Connection falls into this category. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the hell out of this game. It's just... well, odd.

You're a suave guy (or a pretty girl in the Japanese version) on a mission to ride on all the roads in the world's most popular locales, and to leave your mark doing so. Driving your Honda City, you paint the roads you've driven on. However, the police don't take too kindly to you fucking their city's roads up, and look to take you out in the process. Meanwhile, you also need to avoid cats and, occasionally, spikes, as to not damage the car so you can continue your worldwide journey of messing everyone's shit up.

A platforming driving game. Huh.
The game is a 2D side-scrolling platformer, in a sense. You drive your dinky little car around, painting the roads as you do. You can collect cans of oil, the more of which upon completing the level that you have the better your score will be, but they can also be used as ammo against the police. Cats, meanwhile, are miserable little shits that cannot be taken out, and running into one will have it comically fly off the screen, costing you a life in the process. Spikes appear when a player keeps u-turning in the same spot to idle or stall, and, like police cars, causes your car to explode upon a single touch.

Your car NEVER stops moving. All you can do is turn left or right, hop up to higher roads, and hop over gaps to reach other roads. Occasionally balloons will float by, and collecting three of them will warp you to a new city. It sounds simple enough, until you're trying to get the last piece of road, killing three cops at once, and a fucking cat comes out of nowhere. Those fucking cats really piss me off...

FUCKING CAAAAAAT!!!
Meanwhile, the music in the game is really catchy chiptuned classical pieces. Hitting a cat causes it's own jingle (classical piece "Der Flohwalzer," or "Neko Funjatta" in Japanese), and the main theme is variations on Tchaikovsky's "Allegro non troppo e molto maestoso" from Piano Concerto No. 1. Not necessarily Soundtrack of the Year, but it's still fun for an NES and arcade title.

The police in each city have different vehicles. Neat!
Another enjoyable title. The NES had simpler, fun titles back in its time, while it seems the later the systems go the more the focus becomes fixated on graphics. City Connection fits that simple, fun example, and surprised me in being far more enjoyable than I originally thought it would be.

Tecmo Bowl

Tecmo Bowl

Publisher: Tecmo

Developer: Tecmo

Consoles: Nintendo Entertainment System, Arcade

Football's back in season, which means every frat boy in the nation is, when not playing Halo: Reach, hooked on Madden again. Just like every other year. However, before there was an annual franchise release, before EA Sports owned the rights to the NFL and the NFL Player's League, before created players and realistic stadiums and replay footage and other forms of realism were presented for us to feast on... There was Tecmo Bowl.

Tecmo Bowl, obviously by Tecmo, was originally an arcade title, which did pretty good, but the game was really spotlighted and became popular on the NES. While not the first football video game, it's considered to be the best early football game released. Even without the use of real NFL team names (opting, instead, for the Indianapolis Swordfish, the Cleveland Dinosaurs, the Seattle Knights, the Chicago Penguins, and so on), the teams' rosters at that time were still accurate, and even had stats.

Getting ready for the kickoff...
For instance, Denver's John Elway, Miami's Dan Marino, and San Francisco's Joe Montana will deliver better passing games for more yardage. Likewise, teams with a better defense will be able to stop runners a lot quicker than others. Speaking of runners, each team has its own set of pass and run plays, as well. It's pretty interesting to see what made certain teams work, both in terms of players and the plays on the field.

There were a few things that were different in the game than in actual football, however. The clock always stops after each play. No need to go out of bounds or throw an incomplete. Also, there's NO fumbles. This means run plays are ALWAYS safer than passing plays. There's also no substitutions, no injuries, no touchbacks, and no onside kicks. Hey, give them a break, it was the mid-to-late-80's and they still made a fantastic football game for its time.

Believe it or not, THIS was cutting edge at one point.
SO fantastic, in fact, that it warranted ports to the NES, Famicom, Game Boy, mobile phones, two different versions on the Virtual Console, and had two remakes: one on the DS, and one on the 360 and PS3. It was quite the success, and is still considered one of the best football games ever, warranting several sequels on several consoles, as well. I personally think it's a lot better than the "change one little thing and update stats and it's a brand new game" formula of Madden each year.

I also have to note the music of Tecmo Bowl. This motherfucker is catchy as hell. I find myself singing along on offense, raping asses with Washington, running the ball down the field. There's a different song depending on player one being on offense or defense, as well as jingles for the title screen, getting a first down, and getting a touchdown. It's simple, but I find it to be enjoyable.

GOOOOOOOOOAALLLL!! ...Wait, wrong football.
There's not many people that haven't played this title, but even if you don't like football, I suggest giving it a shot. Sure, it's dated now, but it's still entertaining. Just try to avoid passing too much - you don't want to be on the wrong end of an interception.

The Little Mermaid

The Little Mermaid

Publisher: Capcom

Developer: Capcom

Consoles: Nintendo Entertainment System

Three Capcom titles in one week? Sorry, but I've gotta say that The Little Mermaid is one of my all-time favorite Disney movies. So how could I not review the game? Well, sadly, I shouldn't have played this one. Not as a kid, and not again as an adult to refresh my memory.

The graphics are pretty good for 1991 NES graphics, but that may be the only thing "good" about this title. It's not the worst game I've ever played, but it's probably in the bottom 20% or so. The game starts out over halfway into the movie - Ariel has already met Eric, and they fall in love, and they plan on getting married. That's when Flounder and Sebastian come to shit all over their plans and tell Ariel that Ursula is "controlling all the fish" or something stupid. So then Ariel tells Eric - that's right, SHE FUCKING TALKS TO HIM - that she's a mermaid, and needs to go save some fish. Being the selfish douche that he is, he pretty much tells her those fish can fuck themselves and that she should stay with him. She declines, and uses HER OWN MAGIC TO TURN HERSELF BACK INTO A MERMAID TO SAVE THE SEA. Wow.

They sure do make keys differently these days...
So yeah, you play as the mermaid and swim around through the sea, with the almighty bubble that you shit out of your tail as a weapon. Intimidating. You have to hit every fish twice unless you upgrade your bubbles with orbs found in treasure chests, which are unlocked with sea shells. That makes sense. Apparently I can find forks and pipes at the bottom of the ocean, but keys do NOT exist. Oh, and did I mention YOU DON'T EVEN GET TO START WITH FULL HEALTH?! What a load of shit.

The bosses aren't hard in this game, either, though most of them are characters from the movie; the shark in the sunken ship, Flotsam and Jetsam, and Ursula, while others I don't really know why they're there, like a musical conductor fish that controls cannons that shoot fish out, or a walrus that gives you ammo to use against him. It's pretty dumb.

Obligatory ice stage!
Also, can't forget the stages - and what's a video game without the typical stages found in most games? It's harder underwater, so there's no sky or forest stages, but there are a few points in the sunken ship that causes Ariel to leave water and flop around on land. That's funny. Also, surprise surprise, there's an ice level that causes the mermaid to slip around when she hits land. Of course, ice level. But what about fire? How could there possibly be a fire level in a game that takes place in nothing but water? AN UNDERWATER VOLCANO! THAT'S RIGHT, HOW COULD I FORGET THAT?!

I think what makes the game so bad is how poorly the story is done, the swimming controls are kinda stiff, hitboxes are too big, the weapon sucks, and the bosses are too easy. I lost lives to shrimp and angry fish than the bosses. The final fight with Ursula is a joke, Flotsam and Jetsam were harder. And when you finally do beat the game, Ariel cries like a little girl because she can't be human again. Apparently, she only has magic to turn herself into a mermaid and not back into a human. So King Triton, being the Father of the Year that he is, zaps the shit out of her with his trident to give her legs, and then it literally says:

Seriously? This and "The End" are the last screens of the game?
This game took me 20 minutes to beat, while not even trying hard. I believe the speed run is 7 minutes and 26 seconds. If I paid $50 in 1991 for a seven to twenty minute game, I would've been pissed. DuckTales was amazing. Chip 'n Dale's Rescue Rangers was fantastic. Why did the Little Mermaid suck so bad? Why? WHY?!!

Rock n' Roll Racing

Rock n' Roll Racing

Publisher: Interplay Entertainment

Developer: Silicon & Synapse (now known as Blizzard)

Consoles: Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis

Blizzard is known for a lot of things; World of Warcraft, Starcraft, Diablo, the Warcraft series, even the Lost Vikings. Very few, however, remember Blizzard made a racing combat game back in 1993 that fused space, futuristic rides, missiles, and classic rock and heavy metal. Back when they were known as Silicon & Synapse, their second title was Rock n' Roll Racing, a racer that combined R.C. Pro-Am style driving and controls with combat we saw in titles like Twisted Metal or Mario Kart, but with the latter on steroids.

Why Rock n' Roll Racing, though? Why not "Space Race Extreme," or "Shoot a Fucking Missile at Everyone?" Because the soundtrack included a 16-bit style to some of classic rock's best power jams: Paranoid by Black Sabbath, Highway Star by Deep Purple, Born to be Wild by Steppenwolf, Bad to the Bone by George Thorogood, The Peter Gunn Theme by Henry Mancini, and the Genesis version got an exclusive version of Radar Love by Golden Earring. It's fun to race around and blow people up to a somewhat chiptune version Paranoid or Highway Star, even if there aren't any lyrics.

R.C. Pro-Am on space crack!
Speaking of lyrics, though, there WAS voice acting in the early Blizzard title. An announcer, Loudmouth Larry (who can be turned off if you so wish), rambles on and on throughout the race, announcing who's about to blow up, who's dominating the race, who's pitifully lost on the track, and more. I never found a problem with him, but then again, Navi doesn't bother me anymore either, so it's nice to have the option to turn him off.

There's several drivers to choose from, and most of them are based on rock or metal bands. Snake Sanders is based on the vocalist of Whitesnake, David Coverdale. Katarina Lyons is from Panteros V, a play on the band Pantera. Jake Badlands is based on Jake E. Lee from band Badlands. You get the picture. Also, Olaf, from The Lost Vikings, is a secret playable character, only accessible through a code.

The in-game menu, before each race
Six worlds, each with their own boss racer, make up the game's tracks. There are a certain number of races per season per world, though the races are each repeated, so there are four tracks in the first world for a total of eight races, five in the second world for a total of ten races, and so on. Even re-racing some of these tracks and with a map in the upper corner, the track can be confusing, and hitting a jump at a slight angle can cause you to fly off the track and put you very behind. The game can be unforgiving.

You can not only earn money to select new rides, but you can also upgrade your rides as well, from the engine to the shocks to the armor and capacity of your weapons. While the game can be a bit tough, a few simple upgrades and it becomes incredibly simple and way too easy to win. It's certainly fun, but at times it feels repetitive and redundant when you beat the opponents by half a lap or more.

"Rip is in another time zone!"
I enjoyed this game years ago, and found myself enjoying it all over again when I replayed it recently. It's got a two player option, as well, so a friend can join in and race against you, but whether it's alone or with friends, the game has a fun soundtrack and plays great. A great start to what Blizzard would soon become.

Super Mario Kart

Super Mario Kart

Publisher: Nintendo

Developer: Nintendo

Consoles: Super Nintendo

A little late of a post this evening, haha. It's RTF again, I haven't been here in a while, and I hope to get back into the swing of things with relatively little ease. My first October Flashback review will be Super Mario Kart for the SNES.

Super Mario Kart is one of the most well-loved titles from the SNES library, and rightly so. It kick-started an insanely popular spin-off series that is both still going today and, in essence, created a whole new genre. I feel, however, despite its being well-loved it is often negelcted and terribly overlooked, as many people got their introduction to the series through Mario Kart 64.

The game itself is very easy to pick up and play on the 50cc difficulty. Its difficulty wildly increases when jumping to 100cc, and when playing the highest difficulty, (you guessed it) 150cc, you had better pray to whatever god you believe in that you play everything with the accuracy of a machine because it is a VICIOUS MONSTER. 150 cc is not available from the beginning of the game, you have to unlock it. That should tip you off that there's trouble in paradise.

NO THIS IS NOT OKAY
The game has several playable modes. First, the actual meat of the game, the Grand Prix/GP mode. This mode can be played alone, or with a friend. You (and your friend, if playing) face off against CPUs, with a grand total of eight racers. Each racer can only be selected once, so if both of you want to play as Princess Toadstool, rock paper scissors for it, or fisticuffs may ensue. Games have gotten fucking nasty over who gets to be the princess, believe me. You pick a Cup from Mushroom Cup, Flower Cup, Star Cup, and the Special Cup. Each cup has five races, each more difficult than the last. Time Trial is a separate mode (but who the fuck likes time trials anyway?), which is pretty self-explanatory. You race a track versus a ghost racer that follows the exact route of the current best time. Also featured is Match Race, which is one vs. one racing, available only in the 2p mode. The last mode set Super Mario Kart aside from every other racer at the time- with a second player, you can duke it out in Battle Mode! Your karts are adorned with three balloons apiece. Using one of nine different powerups, your objective is to pop the other guy's balloons. The first racer to pop all three of his or her opponent's balloons is the winner. The prize? Sweet, sweet fucking glory. Priceless.

Okay, okay. So who can you play in this bad boy? All the biggest Nintendo stars at the time were available as racers! You can play Mario or Luigi, both of whom are in the average/balanced class. Their stats are basic/an average of everyone else's so they're well-rounded and pretty good for beginners. Yoshi and Princess Toadstool round out the speed/acceleration class with their ability to zoom by at the start with their extremely high acceleration- they're good for intermediate players, though their top speed leaves a bit to be desired. Bowser and Donkey Kong Jr. (... Jr.? the FUCK?) are your heavyweights with low accel and the highest speed- they're definitely for advanced players because when you hit a wall, their speed plummets and you gotta start all over again. They also cause the greatest knock-away when bumping into someone. In the final class is Toad and the Koopa Troopa. They have good traction and are easy to steer around. They're great for learning tracks and practicing sliding, and are good for beginners.

Eight star racers! Well...

No, seriously. Who the fuck let THIS guy in?
The game has twenty tracks, all made with at the time (1992) brand new Mode-7 graphics, and it made the tracks pop with a background that rotated, giving the appearance that it was 3D! At the time, this shit was mind-blowing, and, going back and playing again to get ready for the review, I could really appreciate what I was seeing.

The game has several innnovations to the racing series, which are what make it the grandpappy of the kart-racing genre. It had radically wild weapons, including a speed-boosting Super Mushroom, a slippery banana peel, and a thunderbolt that shrinks other racers. It implemented a little known about coin system- if you gathered ten+ coins, you could hit your top speed. Coins also protect you from being spun out when others run into you. If you get bumped with coins on your person, you lose a coin and have a short, slight speed reduction. If you get bumped without coins, you get spun out, which is a SEVERE penalty in 100 and 150cc races. With the shoulder buttons, you can perform a jump and a "powerslide". Press L or R to jump. It's not terribly useful, as you can't jump over weapon obstacles, but you CAN jump small gaps, which is a necessity in at least one race. Press and hold L or R when rounding a corner to perform a "powerslide" during which your character turns their kart hard, sliding it on the ground. In some areas, it's easier and more practical to powerslide a corner rather than steer it. It is near impossible to be competitive without it.

For a game that is nearly two decades old, Super Mario Kart has held up remarkably well. I, among many others, conisder it to be the best incarnation of Mario Kart with later installments nothing but mere graphical upgrades and gimmicks. It is a stellar addition to any game library and one of the most addictive games of all time. So, for a good ol' time with friends, or a good waste of time alone, pick up your copies of Super Mario Kart (or buy it on the Virtual Console!) and rock out with the best kart-racer of all time.

P.S. Undefeated in two states at SMK. Get at me, bitches.

Magical Quest Starring Mickey Mouse

Magical Quest Starring Mickey Mouse

Publisher: Capcom

Developer: Capcom

Consoles: Super Nintendo

With Disney's Epic Mickey hitting shelves this November, it's safe to say Mickey got a good turn around. He's been in a lot of shitty games, many of which we don't remember or want to remember. However, Magical Quest Starring Mickey Mouse was an enjoyable 2D side-scrolling platformer during the 16-bit era, where it seemed little, possibly no, video game including Mickey Mouse or his Disney family could fail. It wasn't a remarkable game, but it was still enjoyable.

Let's start with the lame ass story - Mickey, Goofy, Donald (who you don't ever see except as a silhouette on the title screen), and Pluto all go to the park to play catch. Mickey sucks at it, so Pluto chases after the ball he let get away. Apparently leaving frame means a character gets lost, and after Goofy offers to help look, Mickey feels the Goofster may be too big of an incompetent fuck to do anything correctly and goes off to find his stupid-enough-to-get-lost-after-five-seconds dog.

What a douchebag!
In the first level, you meet a retarded looking wizard who tells you Pluto was kidnapped by--wait for it--Emperor Pete. His magic is apparently so strong that no one has ever been able to defeat it. Apparently, no one in this world has ever jumped, much less onto someone. Speaking of "this world," one moment the gang is playing in the park, the next Mickey is at the top of some enchanted treetops? Doesn't make much sense, but I guess it doesn't really need to.

Mickey has the ability to grab things and spin them. He can grab blocks and spin them into enemies, grab enemies and spin them into enemies, or, such as the case in the first level, grab fruit from the treetops' vines and spin it, causing the leaves to propeller upward, which Mickey can then grab again to reach heights he couldn't previously. It sounds dumb, but it's kinda neat. Grab an enemy once they're stunned and use him as a weapon. However, if you're holding them when they come to, you lose health, and the little bastard gets to parade about again.

Meet EVERY boss.
Every boss in the game pretty much looks like Pete, with the exception of a bird boss later in the game. You find yourself fighting Pete-faced spiders, fire beasts, goblins, snakes, whatever. You get so sick of seeing them that you just wanna punch Pete in the face when you finally get to him. It's a bit absurdly overdone.

What really brings a neat aspect to the game is, starting in level 2, you're given a special suit that has a special ability. The first is a turban that turns Mickey into a magician; he can shoot a magical beam out of his fingertips and can fly on a magic carpet. The second suit he gets is a fire man's suit, which allows him to spray water from his hose, a very helpful power in the forest fire level. The last suit received is the climbing gear, not only making him look like Peter Pan or Robin Hood, but gives him all of his original abilities with the addition of a grappling hook. Switching back and forth between the outfits, while it freezes everything on screen as he does so, is interesting, and adds a few extra puzzles for each suit throughout the game.

Two of the four forms of Mickey Mouse
When you finally get through it all and get to the end of Pete's Castle (which shows Mickey suddenly becoming a scared little bitch at the front gate), you meet Emperor Pete, one of the tallest incarnations of the fat fucker ever. It's a shame, though, because he's really quite easy for a final boss. Hit him in the face when his hands aren't raised. That's it. I had more trouble with the third level's mid-boss than against Emperor Pete.

I really enjoyed the game, but I did have a few gripes; first, it's that the game uses a cookie-cutter level design. In it's six levels, you have your forest level, your fire level, your air level (in the form of scaling a mountain, as well as in the first level), your ice level, and your evil last stage castle level. I'll forgive Mega Man for this - they can at least bullshit that a Robot Master caused ice or fire damage to an area they attacked, and you have to travel through it. But this stereotype of game levels is getting old. Even back then. The only levels it truly missed were the desert level and the water or ocean level.

Hey! A little privacy here?
SPOILER ALERT!!!!! ...like you fucking care, anyway...

The second complaint I had was its ending. It was a total fucking cop-out. He saves Pluto, and then wakes up in bed with Pluto licking his face. Donald, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE ENTIRE GAME, makes an appearance and tells these sleeping shitheads that they're gonna go play catch in the park and invites them along. You guessed it. It was a dream. A bullshit, shitty ending since Super Mario Bros. 2, I'm so sick of playing an entire game that was just a dream. I didn't save Pluto - I fucking helped Mickey WAKE UP FROM SLEEPING.

And that's it. Mickey wakes up in bed, Donald invites them to play catch, Mickey questions if he was dreaming, and then it shows the exact same animation from the title screen before panning up to the sky and delivering the credits. Nothing exciting, nothing fancy. Just Mickey in bed, and silhouettes in the park. God. Dammit.

And in the end, you just get eaten. Wait, why would I walk in there?
Don't get me wrong, I still enjoyed the game. There's little perks here and there, like the level names being written in the classic Disney signature font (meaning all the D's looked like backwards G's), the art is well done as is the animation, and the game is fun to play. The water hose is interesting in the ice level, for example, and the magic carpet, while difficult to operate at first, is a fun little mechanic. In conclusion, the game is fun to play, just so long as you ignore the plot and don't mind playing the same levels you've played in nearly every other video game ever.

Columns

Columns

Publisher: Sega

Developer: Sega

Consoles: Sega Genesis

First off, to say this game is only on the Sega Genesis is absurd, because it's not. The game was seen in arcades, TurboGrafx-16, Sega Master System, Sega CD, Game Gear, Game Boy Color, MSX 2, iPhone, DOS, Mac, Windows, Atari ST, Sega Saturn, Dreamcast, Super Famicom, Game Boy Advance, Playstation 2, Wii, XBox 360, and Playstation 3. That's not including the knock-off copycat games, either. This game is on nearly as many consoles as Tetris or Mega Man, it seems. However, the version I'm talking about today, as well as one of the most popular versions and the one that seems to be the most ported, is the Sega Genesis version, so let's just keep it at that.

OH, THAT'S where the jewels rain down from!

I fucking love this game. I'm not one to brag or toot my own horn, but I bought this game on the Virtual Console the day it came out, and had to have been the first person on the VC version of the game to hit level 99 and maxed out the cleared jewels counter. However, because I not only wasn't in the "arcade" mode, nor had a way of recording it set up, it's an achievement that has to stay quiet within me because pretty much no one else around me gave a shit as I hit level 99.

I have no reason to be bitter about it, and I'm not, but this isn't the reason why I like this game. It's a major nostalgia kick for me. I owned this gem (see what I did there?) on the Genesis growing up, and, in a family that doesn't care for gaming, I'd find the whole family taking turns to see how far we could get, or team up in the arcade mode to see who could reach a certain level the fastest.

The normal arcade mode, which allows for two player action

What IS Columns, though? It's a puzzle game back in the days where Tetris ruled the puzzle market. Very similar to the king of puzzle games, you have a rectangular playing area as tall as the screen, and you would receive a column of colored jewels that would drop slowly from the top to the bottom. They had to remain upright, hence the name COLUMNS, but you could move them about and rotate the order the pieces were in. Instead of clearing lines, you had to match three of the same color in a row, be it vertically, horizontally, or diagonally.

It seems simple, but predictably enough, the higher the level you reach, the quicker the blocks begin to fall. There's also a blinking piece that will destroy every gem of the same color it's placed upon. It adds a new level of strategy to decide what you should destroy, or what color you should work on in order to drop the height of the jewels in the playing field.

Flash Columns had you dig through lines of jewels to destroy a specific one

The music in the game, to me, is more enjoyable than the now overplayed Tetris theme (which is actually a Russian folk song, by the way). The Greek themed game has a nice soundtrack to it that I find calms me; if I'm in a bad mood or having a rough day, a quick game (or fifteen) of Columns makes me feel better. What's actually pretty interesting is that the game's pseudo-main theme, "Clotho," actually changes - hit a certain level, and the music calms down to a gentle piano rendition, done during stages that might temporarily slow down the pace in order to help the player catch up on clearing the way.

I feel this is one of the most underrated puzzle games out there today. It seems the only classic puzzle game everyone remembers is Tetris, and newer games like Bejeweled seem to be the only puzzle games played by the casual player today. However, my props go out to the FIRST jewel puzzle game, one of the best puzzle titles of all time: Columns.

Mega Man

Mega Man

Publisher: Capcom

Developer: Capcom

Consoles: Nintendo Entertainment System

We start off October with not just a classic title, but the title that started what would become a classic series with several spin-off series. Mega Man has over 90 titles in its library, from its Classic series to the X series, as well as the Zero series, the Battle Network series, the ZX series, the Star Force series, and the Legends series, the last of which was just recently announced to finally get a sequel after over a decade. Mega Man has starred in not just his own games, but also in several titles in the Versus series, and has shown up in one way or another in Onimusha Blade Warriors, Cannon Spike, SnK vs Capcom Card Fighters, Gem Fighters, Dead Rising, Boktai 2, and several others.

So what made Mega Man so big? Well, for those of you that have been living under a rock or just never cared about the series, I'll fill you in; the game is about two scientists, Dr. Light (though in the first game in the series he's called "Dr. Wright") and Dr. Wily, who create Mega Man, as well as six other robots. Cut Man, Elec Man, Guts Man, Bomb Man, Fire Man, and Ice Man were all created to help mankind with demolition, logging, construction, electrical operations, and work in extreme heat or cold, until Dr. Wily turns against his partner. The scientist turns into a mad man, reprogramming the six robots to aid him in trying to rule the world. Light sends Mega Man to stop Wily and the Master Robots and to save mankind, and so on and so forth.

"Let's see how you do against... KUNG FU CUTMAN!"
But that doesn't really explain what made the game into the multi-series franchise that it is today. It brought in something new to the field at the time; once you defeat a Robot Master, you get to keep their power to use as your own. So if Mega Man were to beat Bomb Man, he'd have the power to throw bombs. If he were to beat Elec Man, he'd be able to shoot electrical shots in three directions. As if this new way to destroy your enemies weren't enough, each of the bosses had their own weakness against another Robot Master's power.

A word to the wise: if you haven't played many side-scrollers outside of Mario, you WILL get frustrated with this game. The difficulty of the games in the classic series is near legendary. These games aren't the hardest games made, but for a first timer, it certainly feels like it. And many of the games continue to get harder, including the newer Mega Man 9 and 10, each of which were made after the original design of the first games in the series.

Ugh, Yellow Devil is a bitch until you figure out his pattern...
As for this game in particular, my honest opinion is that it is challenging, but the powers you get from the Robot Masters are rarely worth it. Fire Man and Ice Man have similar elemental styled bullet attacks. Bomb Man's bombs take too long to explode. Cut Man's boomerangs don't do enough damage. And Guts Man is literally like the worst power of all time - he can throw chunks of wall or large blocks. But they rarely show up, and can simply be destroyed by Elec Man's power anyway. Elec Man literally has the best power in this game, and is the only thing more useful than the regular buster cannon.

Like many others, while this title is fun, and brings a beginning to the epic franchise that is Mega Man, later games in the series definitely perfected what this game started. The difficulty of this game (as well as many of them in the series) is high enough that once you finally conquer the game, you're proud of yourself. Recently I've beaten the first two Mega Man games, as well as 10 (which was my first time defeating ol' Doc Wily), and I assure you they were no easy task, especially the second one. We'll get into that later, though.

The PSP recently got the original game in a whole new style.
If you're interested in "story" or wanna be a Classic series perfectionist, start with the first game. If you're simply looking for a fun side-scroller with a high challenging difficulty, you might wanna start with one of the most famous 2D titles ever, Mega Man II.